Thursday, December 17, 2009
Not to totally bore everyone, but something else that's really been on my mind lately is people. Maybe its the holidays talking, but i've really been missing people lately. Everyone that i've loved and lost throughout my life, which turns out to be quite the number actually. I'm aware of the whole "people come and go" adage but that doesn't mean i have to be a fan of it. As i look back all the way to childhood it seems that no matter how much i try to love people they flee from me as if i had a plague. Slightly an exaggeration but you get my drift. It makes for a lonely jilly. Don't get me wrong, I have some incredible friends and family that i just love and adore and for some reason love me back. I just miss people from my past sometimes, thats all. I guess its true what they say....its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all....right? If i'm a true follower of Christ then this must be true.....happy holidays!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Hey! Glad you took a look! I am living with my dad here in murry, and we are looking for a third to come live with us in our openminded family. The room is a nice, two window, spacious closet, with wood flooring. Our house is a three bedroom home with a decent size kitchen, family room, a dining room (which my dad uses as an office) and a open fromt room. We also have a hot tub that we use freaquently, and you would be more then welcome to join us. The 200 is a flat rate that includes utilies, internet, and we do have a big screen tv with cable.
Sense we are offering a very cheap room we are looking for someone that would fit nicely into our situation. We are both slight nudists, where we will both walk around naked, and use the hot tub in the nude. I only stress this because we need someone who would not mind this, and would feel comfortable in joining us. THERE IS NO SEXUAL ANYTHING BY DOING THAT!!!!!!! lol my dad and i are both sexual beings and we are open in our sexuality. We both bring home people and do not mind if you do. We are both very opinionated, yet extreamly openminded people. That being said we are looking for someone that is open minded (out of the mormon bubble perferably), non judgemental, and would be comfortable in our living situation. We are also looking for someone who we can trust, leave the house to and such.
I would be more then willing to show you the house and get to know you a little bit to see if you are the one we are looking for! Please email me and we will get in touch! Please put Hot Tub in title so i know that you are real! :D Come join us in the hot tub, it feels dang good!!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
“What do you call a spelling bee, tennis practice, a soccer fund-raiser, one dentist appointment, two sick guinea pigs, a three o’clock board meeting, and a full-time job? In my house that’s referred to as Tuesday.
Being a single mom requires stamina, patience, and the power to reshape time itself.But, alas, it’s no longer enough to be Super Mom. Every magazine cover now insists that we have firm abs, too..like a sort of Supermodel Super Mom. On the upside, I still have the body I had at 20. On the downside, it wasn’t so swell then either. In spite of my success as a mother, sister, daughter, friend, producer, writer, and school volunteer, there are three words that really bug me: “Just Do It.”
I’ll never forget the first time I saw that clearly over-caffeinated Nike commercial. It caught me off guard. I was in the middle of weeping on my sofa, having just survived a slumber party with nine little girls. They had managed to stop giggling by 2:00 a.m., and yet clamored for pancakes by six. Covered in flour, with inky circles under my eyes, I resembled something that had fallen off the back of a bakery truck.
And then there it was on the television screen: a parade of women, certainly my age, gritty determination plastered all over their perfect bodies. As they ran…over rocks, up mountains, across rivers…the sweatier and more alluring they became. Here was the kind of woman who might, in fact, be a mother, but who wouldn’t know a carpool unless she could swim a hundred laps across it.
Then came the Nike logo and that booming voiceover: “Just Do It!”
I finished my doughnut, turned off the TV, and thought to myself, Doing It is one thing, but must I Do It uphill, too?
Why did I continue to care about this slogan so much? Because, frankly, I have no time to Do It, and the older I get, the less I want to anyway. Besides, it was always my understanding that Demi Moore looks the way she does so I don’t have to. Sure, I have friends who rise with the sun to swim and run and cycle their way into tight jeans and jiggle-free miniskirts. I’ve tried, but I will never be one of them. I can’t seem to carve out the time or my glutes. I have no hand-eye coordination, limited agility, and most important, a huge genetic disadvantage: Jews don’t make the best athletes.
First of all, “Air Abramowitz” would never work on a sneaker. Secondly, we’re not movers- athletically speaking. We tend to excel at wandering. In fact, if wandering were an Olympic event, you might see more Jews in sports. But you don’t. Sure, we made a mad dash out of Egypt for the Promised Land, but the truth is, we were hoping the promise included a food court.
Frankly, I’d like to be less soccer mom and more hot soccer mamma, so I joined a gym. I’ve never actually gone, mind you, but I still love telling people that I belong to one. It gives the illusion of Just Doing It with less risk of injury. I wish I felt guilty about not carving out my own hard body, but I don’t have the time. Instead, I am thrilled by my full life if not my fuller dimensions. Yes, my abs are more washing machine than washboard, and I’ve got cleavage that’s large enough to be French braided, but I’ve finally decided that my magazine cover will just have to say, “Delicious!” If I’m going to take a big bite out of my life, then it’s sure as hell going to include dessert. I guess that makes me more of a Super-Soft Super Mom. I don’t look so good in the cape, but my daughter tells me I make a great pillow.
The more I think about Just Doing It, the more I realize I’m doing it all every day. So what do you call back-to-back meetings, Brownies, company for dinner, trumpet practice, guitar lessons, fall soccer, a new bunny rabbit, laundry mountain, two book reports, and a Margarita Night out with the girls? At my house we call that Just Doing Fine.”
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." (2 Nephi 31:20)
This scripture means so much to me. Years ago in a dark time for me, this scripture gave me hope. It gave me desire. Those years ago, while i was searching my soul and asking the Lord for guidance and strength, I came upon this verse of scripture. The whole 31st chapter seemed to leap right off of the page. It seemed at that time that verse 20 was written just for me. Since that time, this scripture has continued to be a source of strength as it reminds me what i must do to gain my goal: eternal life. I know i must press forward even in the toughest of times, for i will be blessed eternally. I must love others as myself and love the Lord above all else. I will feast on the words of Christ, by studying and pondering the scriptures, listening to and obeying the prophet, and listening to and recognizing the Holy Ghost as he speaks to me. If i do these things and endure to the end by living as God wants me to live, I am promised eternal life. What a wonderful promise!!! That promise gives me that brightness of hope. I will daily strive to better myself to become more like Him. I know, by everything within me, that if i do these things i will live in His presence again.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
"what is passion? It is surely the becoming of a person....In passion, the body and the spirit seek expression...The more extreme and the more expressed that passion is, the more unbearable does life seem without it. It reminds us that if passion dies or is denied, we are partly dead and that soon, come what may, we will be wholly so."
~John Boorman, Film Director
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sufjan Stevens also does a great version (or atleast i think so) of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" so go to youtube and check him out.
I almost couldn't find a link for this one, but here it is so just click "play"
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I'm not really sure how i feel about it right now. I mean sure, I'm ecstatic to no longer have a car payment for a car i don't have. But it just feels....weird. I don't know. When I was on the phone making the final payment, the girl said to me "i bet you are sure glad to have this thing out from under you, huh?" UNDERSTATEMENT. And then she said "well ms. brewer, in about 10 to 14 days you will receive your title in the mail." All i could think was I DON'T WANT THE FREAKIN TITLE!!!!!! I mean seriously... what good does that do me? Maybe a keepsake to remind me of all the great times i've had in the aftermath of it all. Now i'm just sickly, broke, and tired. I bid you adieu.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
This from Dr. Claire Weekes, the late anxiety expert:
On Recovery: "The person practicing acceptance passes gradually from being terrified and dreading panic to disliking it, then from disliking to finding it no longer mattering. This does not mean that panic no longer comes. It takes time for no-longer-mattering to bring no panic. It is important to realize that panic can still flash and no longer matter. This is the beginning of recovery.
We should not feel lesser human beings because we happen to be afraid in certain circumstances. Coping though frightened is true courage.
Even when you can do things you previouisly could not do, memory may sometimes encourage that old demon, panic, to rattle his chains. However, the rattling gradually grows less and less as you cope with it the right way, until it finally fades and is only a thought without too much upsetting bodily reaction.
When you can live in peace with the memory of what you have been through and if, when times of stress bring back your old symptoms, you can accept these and not let them upset you too much, not let them disrupt your life, then you can say you are cured.
Recovery means that although symptoms can return under stress, there is a deep inner feeling of peace because the symptoms have come to no longer matter.
For recovery, the sufferer must have, deep within himself, a special voice that says during any setback or dark moment, "It's all right, you've been here before. You know the way out, You can do it again. It works, you know it works!" That voice speaks with authority and brings comfort only when it has been earned by the sufferer himself, and it can be earned only by making the symptoms and experience that torture no longer matter. No-longer-mattering is the key."
This really brought comfort and hope to me. I hope you never have to experience panic attacks, but if you do or have in the past I hope you find support in knowing there are others out there who suffer with you, silently (most people don't talk about it...you may have people close to you who suffer them and you'd never know). It doesn't mean you are "crazy" or unstable. In my case it is directly related to post traumatic stress syndrome, but people develop them for various reasons. If this has made you uncomfortable, I apologize...but the truth is they are real. They are real for me. And they are exhausting. Goodnight.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My Daddy: You may or may not know this, but my dad is a pretty unique guy. I've always admired how he marches to the beat of his own drum and is proud of it. My dad has provided me with many an entertaining memory over my years and makes me laugh. I remember going to work with him when i was younger and thinking what a hard worker he was. He always made sure to spend a lot of time with us kids, and also get one-on-one time with each of us to make us feel special. I still to this day want to instinctively step on anyone's hands who happens to be laying on the floor. He taught me to never back down from what I believe to be right..that being confident in who I am is okay even if some people are intimidated by it. And I always feel safe around him, which is a big deal to me because since i was little i've dealt with alot of fears. I also admire and appreciate how he honors his priesthood and has always been eager to give me a blessing when i've needed it. I love you daddy.
My Momma: My mom is one of the most selfless people i know. seriously. She gives to others so freely, without ever even thinking of herself first. And while i would love to see her do more things for herself, i know she finds joy in serving others...its a part of who she is. I aspire to be like her in that way someday. My mom is always doing something. I can hardly remember her ever sitting down that much, and when she does she sews at the same time. I admire that because truth be told, i'm a little lazy sometimes. She also has a great sense of humor. I don't think i really noticed that until I was an adult...but she makes me laugh. I love it when i see her relaxing with people she loves and she throws something hilarious out at random. I also can thank her for my gift and love of music and my artistic side. My parents always made sure that we learned the gospel and knew that our heavenly father loved us. I feel so blessed with parents that taught us so well and loved me even when i made decisions that they didn't like. I attribute this to the foundation of my testimony. I would also like to note that as i've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks from time to time, my mom is usually the only one that can really make me feel better. I love you mom.
My sister Laura: When i was younger, i often felt confused by whether having a sister so close in age to me was a blessing or a curse. I now know it is a blessing. I felt i was often known as "Laura's little sister" and to be quite honest, I was kind of proud of that. I've always looked up to my sister. She's incredibly beautiful, with a smile that you can see in her eyes. She's talented in many ways. While there are ways in which we are different, we are also kind of the same. Its hard to explain, but i've always felt like my sister was a part of who i was...you know, the kind of thing where i just know we were close before we came to this earth. I've often found her captivating. She's fun and witty and i love being close to her. she has an energy that fills up the room when she enters. She silently demands that people "show up" and be present. Oh how i admire and respect that. Her testimony is sure and she is unwavering. She loves her children and her husband deeply and it shows. I never could (and still can't) stand to see her cry if she's upset. If I see her hurt, I hurt. She cares genuinely about other people and will do what she can to help them. She's very insightful and i'm grateful that she knows how to talk to me in just the way i need to feel empowered and supported. I love you lala.
Joseph: My brother jophis is special to me. We were always playmates growing up, and he would even call me "John" because when i was really young i went through a phase where i wanted to be a boy. He's always been so sure of himself, confident in who he is and where he's going. I was always somewhat jealous of his athleticism...he was good at any sport he touched. He's willing to help out where he's needed and he's very dutiful, which is something i sometimes lack. His testimony has always been rock solid and we always knew how much he wanted to serve a mission. I've always felt a special connection to him. He's also humorous and likes to laugh...these great big belly laughs where he throws his head back and you can't help but laugh with him. He's been a good friend to me...i remember when he came home from byu while he waited to leave on his mission. We were nearly inseperable. I knew it would make it harder when he left, but i wanted every minute with him because i knew we would never get that time back. When he finally did leave, i felt like someone had died and I cried many many tears the first few days. When he got back we were attached at the hip again until he left for school. All of this is to just demonstrate that Joseph has always been my buddy. He shares my love of movies and we tend to like the same kind. I always love just hanging out with him. love you jophis.
Jacob: Oh how my brother jacob is FUNNY. He has been the most entertaining guy to grow up with (no offense to my other siblings). There are many stories i could share with you to demonstrate this fact, but i'll leave that for another time. He's the kind of funny that just happens naturally, that makes you wonder what kind of stuff goes on in that head of his. He's also incredibly intelligent and i wish i had that to work for my advantage. I remember when he was younger he used to read encyclopedias and fall asleep to classical music. In fact, i think he still enjoys classical music from time to time...which would probably surprise most people that know him. He has a big heart. I've seen him do things for people that i know wasn't his preference, but he did it because he wanted to help them. He has the prettiest eyes...long eyelashes that make your heart melt. We are alot alike, me and jacob. We tend to have some of the same personality traits and that makes me feel a special kinship to him. We also share the same sense of humor...or atleast i think so. I enjoy spending time with him...its pretty much a good time. love you jacob.
Daniel: Daniel was born when i was 15. He is my little buddy. I fell in love with him when he was born and he was the light of my life. Its been hard lately to see him getting so big... gone are the days when he curls up in my lap as we watch his shows and just hang out together. I remember when he was about 6 i asked him.."daniel what am i going to do when you get too big to sit on my lap?" and he looked at me in all seriousness and said.."don't worry jill, i'll still hold your hand". Now he really is too big to sit in my lap, but when i'm home he still cozies up to me to watch a movie or read the comics..and he still plays the "drawing game" with me after church on sundays (that was our tradition). He's brilliant...his intelligence amazes me. Because he grew up in a house full of older people, his vocabulary has always blown me away. I remember having full conversations about sophisticated subjects when he was merely 3. He loves to read, and i can always go to him in search of a book or atleast a recommendation...he always has a big stack on his desk in his room. I can tell he's a straight arrow...that he is one of those people that just knows truth. I love that about him. I love you Daniel.
Jason and Katie: I don't want you to feel left out! I want you to know that i love you both as well. I am so grateful that my sister found such a wonderful husband in you, Jason, and that Joseph found such an incredible wife, Katie. I enjoy being around both of you and hope to get to know you even better as the years go on.
Well, I know this has been looooonnnggggg, but hopefully my family can see a small portion of some of the things i love about them. Happy Sunday!
Friday, March 13, 2009
The first five people to leave a comment gets...drumroll please.... a homemade gift from me! Yes, its true. I could make a witty joke here about me actually making homemade things but the truth is i secretly like it (please don't tell anyone). It gives me an opportunity to stir my creative juices. Looking back over the years i've made plenty of homemade gifts for people and enjoyed doing it. That said, there is a time frame of 6 months. Now my sister-in-law katie and my mom both put the time frame of a year, but i assure you i will forget in that time. I may forget in a month. But, i will set up the necessary reminders to get you your homemade goods within 6 months. This i vow.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
This is my worktime friend Star. She likes to get hair all over me and hold my hand.
She also likes to stalk the cat, bark insanely at ANYONE (which is always nice when we have a customer on the phone) and nudge my arm until i stop what i'm doing to love on her. She really is a sweet dog though. Just look at that face! Poor thing suffers from anxiety.
Over and out.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I was not prepared for how rocky the trail is. As you can see from the pictures, alot of the trail actually went over rocks that we had to climb. It was seriously so much fun and there were beautiful views. The water was emerald green. Who knew that a place so beautiful existed right outside of DC?
A candid shot of Rodney and David on the trail.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Okay, whew... i feel better. So a few (or more like 6) weeks ago, we decided to play hookie and go to the zoo. Shhhh, don't tell the boss. Seriously though, who could pass up a 60 degree weather day in december? Apparently not us. I took a few shots of our adventures...dancing, rodney riding some old mans wheelchair thingy, more dancing and a really cool street drummer that was providing us passersby with some rockin' times.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
I just wanted to post a few clips of them doing what they do. They tell me jokes and keep me entertained with acrobatics. And apparently they really like chase games. I love you Laura, Jason, Jamison, Sierra and Paige!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A house of bricks with four strong walls
to outside elements won't fall
It takes a special kind of wind
to dispense doom and bring its end.
With inside pieces flying 'round
Those sturdy walls come crashing down
And in one final deafning sound
All is still upon that ground.
But mostly one would always find
atleast small parts of house that rise
From heaps of rubble upward bound
to be rebuilt once they are found.
A skillful carpenter can fix
this humble house of crumbled bricks
And with his healing hands he works
to build it stronger than at first.
And in no time it seems it stands
a masterpiece of careful hands
A witness to the neighbors there
The power of His redeeming care.