Westward Ho!

Nausea. That seems to be my constant companion these days. Why you ask? Because it seems that my excitement for moving out west has taken a cold, hard turn towards the awareness that this is really happening. Tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, i'm still REALLY excited. Thing is, there is so much uncertainty and i have no idea how everything is going to work out. Sure, people move out west all the time. So what makes this different? oh, maybe the fact that i have no place to live and no job and bills requiring resources that i just don't have. I have a hard time even wrapping my mind around it. It seems so careless, so irresponsible. Except for one thing....the Lord told me to go. No doubt about it, Salt Lake is where i'm supposed to be. But it doesn't make it easy, and i know that that is the point. Amidst my doubts and fears, there is also hope and faith. They are opposites and yet existing together in my mind and heart. Its not exactly what i would call a good feeling having that war going on inside of me. I guess its the feeling of sensing that something really big, something life-altering is about to happen for me and i have no idea what it looks like. I realize that it may not be anything big that anyone else notices, but it will be big for me. There is still that little girl inside of me that was afraid to leave home for sleepovers because i only felt safe overnight with my parents. Sure i've moved to Boone, DC and Maryland...but this seems different. I do, however, know that the Lord has great things in store for me and i am ready to go find out what exactly that is. Even i have to be homeless for a little while. So, for the first time ever i bid the east coast adieu in search of new adventures. Don't worry, i'll be back...to visit at least. Westward ho!