Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Back here again

I'm back here again folks. You know, that place where you aren't really sure what your near future looks like? Well that is where I currently dwell. I recently received the news that the snow season is in fact over and now...drumroll please...i must find a job. crap. I guess I knew this day could come but I secretly (well, maybe not so secretly) hoped that we would have a good enough season for me to continue to be paid throughout the summer. 'Tis not so my good lads. Thus I am thrown into the dog days of job hunting with hundreds of other villagers trying to find something that pays somewhat decent. I'll be the first one to tell you that I really really despise looking for a job. With a passion. And here's why....at first it can be fairly exciting thinking of new possibilities (to be honest, I like changing what I do from time to time because I get incredibly bored doing the same thing day to day). But pretty soon leads start to dry out and I get hit with panic about being able to make my car payment or whatever bills I may have. Don't these employers know that I can learn pretty much anything? Don't they know that I'm a hard worker and personable? The reality is they don't, unfortunately, which brings me to my next topic of loathing....interviews. I really like being the interviewer, but not so much on the other side of that desk. I always wonder what their impression of me is and what they are thinking about me. Just give me the job already, I won't let you down. Ugh. I'm frustrated. I gotta go.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A little appreciation

Today in Young Women i taught a lesson about supporting your family members. As i read through it i reflected on my own immediate family and how much i love them. So this post is about them, and the things i love about them individually.

My Daddy: You may or may not know this, but my dad is a pretty unique guy. I've always admired how he marches to the beat of his own drum and is proud of it. My dad has provided me with many an entertaining memory over my years and makes me laugh. I remember going to work with him when i was younger and thinking what a hard worker he was. He always made sure to spend a lot of time with us kids, and also get one-on-one time with each of us to make us feel special. I still to this day want to instinctively step on anyone's hands who happens to be laying on the floor. He taught me to never back down from what I believe to be right..that being confident in who I am is okay even if some people are intimidated by it. And I always feel safe around him, which is a big deal to me because since i was little i've dealt with alot of fears. I also admire and appreciate how he honors his priesthood and has always been eager to give me a blessing when i've needed it. I love you daddy.

My Momma: My mom is one of the most selfless people i know. seriously. She gives to others so freely, without ever even thinking of herself first. And while i would love to see her do more things for herself, i know she finds joy in serving others...its a part of who she is. I aspire to be like her in that way someday. My mom is always doing something. I can hardly remember her ever sitting down that much, and when she does she sews at the same time. I admire that because truth be told, i'm a little lazy sometimes. She also has a great sense of humor. I don't think i really noticed that until I was an adult...but she makes me laugh. I love it when i see her relaxing with people she loves and she throws something hilarious out at random. I also can thank her for my gift and love of music and my artistic side. My parents always made sure that we learned the gospel and knew that our heavenly father loved us. I feel so blessed with parents that taught us so well and loved me even when i made decisions that they didn't like. I attribute this to the foundation of my testimony. I would also like to note that as i've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks from time to time, my mom is usually the only one that can really make me feel better. I love you mom.

My sister Laura: When i was younger, i often felt confused by whether having a sister so close in age to me was a blessing or a curse. I now know it is a blessing. I felt i was often known as "Laura's little sister" and to be quite honest, I was kind of proud of that. I've always looked up to my sister. She's incredibly beautiful, with a smile that you can see in her eyes. She's talented in many ways. While there are ways in which we are different, we are also kind of the same. Its hard to explain, but i've always felt like my sister was a part of who i was...you know, the kind of thing where i just know we were close before we came to this earth. I've often found her captivating. She's fun and witty and i love being close to her. she has an energy that fills up the room when she enters. She silently demands that people "show up" and be present. Oh how i admire and respect that. Her testimony is sure and she is unwavering. She loves her children and her husband deeply and it shows. I never could (and still can't) stand to see her cry if she's upset. If I see her hurt, I hurt. She cares genuinely about other people and will do what she can to help them. She's very insightful and i'm grateful that she knows how to talk to me in just the way i need to feel empowered and supported. I love you lala.

Joseph: My brother jophis is special to me. We were always playmates growing up, and he would even call me "John" because when i was really young i went through a phase where i wanted to be a boy. He's always been so sure of himself, confident in who he is and where he's going. I was always somewhat jealous of his athleticism...he was good at any sport he touched. He's willing to help out where he's needed and he's very dutiful, which is something i sometimes lack. His testimony has always been rock solid and we always knew how much he wanted to serve a mission. I've always felt a special connection to him. He's also humorous and likes to laugh...these great big belly laughs where he throws his head back and you can't help but laugh with him. He's been a good friend to me...i remember when he came home from byu while he waited to leave on his mission. We were nearly inseperable. I knew it would make it harder when he left, but i wanted every minute with him because i knew we would never get that time back. When he finally did leave, i felt like someone had died and I cried many many tears the first few days. When he got back we were attached at the hip again until he left for school. All of this is to just demonstrate that Joseph has always been my buddy. He shares my love of movies and we tend to like the same kind. I always love just hanging out with him. love you jophis.

Jacob: Oh how my brother jacob is FUNNY. He has been the most entertaining guy to grow up with (no offense to my other siblings). There are many stories i could share with you to demonstrate this fact, but i'll leave that for another time. He's the kind of funny that just happens naturally, that makes you wonder what kind of stuff goes on in that head of his. He's also incredibly intelligent and i wish i had that to work for my advantage. I remember when he was younger he used to read encyclopedias and fall asleep to classical music. In fact, i think he still enjoys classical music from time to time...which would probably surprise most people that know him. He has a big heart. I've seen him do things for people that i know wasn't his preference, but he did it because he wanted to help them. He has the prettiest eyes...long eyelashes that make your heart melt. We are alot alike, me and jacob. We tend to have some of the same personality traits and that makes me feel a special kinship to him. We also share the same sense of humor...or atleast i think so. I enjoy spending time with him...its pretty much a good time. love you jacob.

Daniel: Daniel was born when i was 15. He is my little buddy. I fell in love with him when he was born and he was the light of my life. Its been hard lately to see him getting so big... gone are the days when he curls up in my lap as we watch his shows and just hang out together. I remember when he was about 6 i asked him.."daniel what am i going to do when you get too big to sit on my lap?" and he looked at me in all seriousness and said.."don't worry jill, i'll still hold your hand". Now he really is too big to sit in my lap, but when i'm home he still cozies up to me to watch a movie or read the comics..and he still plays the "drawing game" with me after church on sundays (that was our tradition). He's brilliant...his intelligence amazes me. Because he grew up in a house full of older people, his vocabulary has always blown me away. I remember having full conversations about sophisticated subjects when he was merely 3. He loves to read, and i can always go to him in search of a book or atleast a recommendation...he always has a big stack on his desk in his room. I can tell he's a straight arrow...that he is one of those people that just knows truth. I love that about him. I love you Daniel.

Jason and Katie: I don't want you to feel left out! I want you to know that i love you both as well. I am so grateful that my sister found such a wonderful husband in you, Jason, and that Joseph found such an incredible wife, Katie. I enjoy being around both of you and hope to get to know you even better as the years go on.

Well, I know this has been looooonnnggggg, but hopefully my family can see a small portion of some of the things i love about them. Happy Sunday!

Friday, March 13, 2009

First Five

Okay, well i guess i signed up for this so here goes...

The first five people to leave a comment gets...drumroll please.... a homemade gift from me! Yes, its true. I could make a witty joke here about me actually making homemade things but the truth is i secretly like it (please don't tell anyone). It gives me an opportunity to stir my creative juices. Looking back over the years i've made plenty of homemade gifts for people and enjoyed doing it. That said, there is a time frame of 6 months. Now my sister-in-law katie and my mom both put the time frame of a year, but i assure you i will forget in that time. I may forget in a month. But, i will set up the necessary reminders to get you your homemade goods within 6 months. This i vow.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My worktime friend

This is my worktime friend Star. She likes to get hair all over me and hold my hand.

She also likes to stalk the cat, bark insanely at ANYONE (which is always nice when we have a customer on the phone) and nudge my arm until i stop what i'm doing to love on her. She really is a sweet dog though. Just look at that face! Poor thing suffers from anxiety.

In other news, I'm living at work again. I keep telling myself how thankful I am for the snow because well, that's our business. Snow somehow loses its magic when you have to get up at 2 in the a.m. after 2 hours of sleep and work for the next 15 or so hours. It provides me entertainment to get berated by a guy for 5 minutes, only for him to continue to insult me when I call back to let him know that someone is on their way to help him. Its good times. This is what i look like at work after 27 hours with only 2.5 hours of sleep to break that up.

Over and out.