So since i last posted i've been trying to find little pieces of joy in my days. Yesterday? spending time with my sister and her kids. Somewhere along the way this past year i started spending time every week at Laura's house and i'm loving the friendship and love i feel when i'm there with her and her family. Tonight i found joy in an unexpected place... i got a call from a customer who wanted to have pizza delivered to baptist hospital. She was so very sweet and had such a happy tone that it immediately put me in a better mood. She instructed me to have it delivered to the nurses station near her room. We got to chatting a little and she explained that the nursing staff had been so wonderful to her during her stay that she wanted to thank them by ordering them some surprise pizzas before they went on break. I've been doing this a long time, and i've never seen a patient order food for the nurses out of gratitude. i was so touched by this that i threw in a free order of cinnastix as a dessert for them. Just being a bystander to someone else's attitude of gratitude during a trying time (it was in the rehabilitation wing of the hospital) brought joy to my soul. I was also thinking today about how unbalanced i feel in my life. For the past three weeks i have been feeling like i've been stuck inside a time vortex that has me certain i've sold my soul to the pizza devil. I need to make changes, which i've been saying for a long time but haven't yet acted upon (well i have in very small ways, but not any that are making huge differences). I hate that i've become someone who is all talk and no action. I realized that i can't (and don't necessarily want to) change my job right this moment because the reality is i would just end up in some other job that i lose myself in until i become unbalanced. Its kind of a habit i have. But, what i CAN change is both my attitude at work and how i spend my time away from work. So i've decided to start a little 30 day experiment. I need more enlightment, joy, fullfillment and spirituality in my life. I want to feel balanced. How do i spend my time at home usually? Parked on my couch watching tv while spending hours in front of my laptop. Granted i tend to do this in the wee hours of the morning when i have nothing else to do, but still i could be reading, writing, playing music, etc....I'm willing to bet that if i add a little creative discipline in the form of time management to my every day, i would find a ton more time that i can spend filling myself up with good and happy things. How will i do this? For the next 30 days, i WILL (please someone, hold me to this):
1. Limit TV to one hour per day OR one movie, but not both
2. spend 30 minutes minimum in the scriptures
3. spend 30 minutes minimum walking OUTSIDE. I live in a beautiful section of town with tons of sidewalks, so no excuses.
4. Make a solid and sincere effort to get 7 hours of sleep. 8 has always been too much for me, but 7 to 7.5 is almost perfect. I must do what it takes to get proper rest, because most of my panic attacks happen due to lack of rest.
5. During any other free time, instead of TV or computer i will spend time reading books i've been meaning to get to, writing, practicing my guitar, finding ways to serve others, or visiting friends and family.
My plan is to see how doing this for 30 days impacts my attitude about my life and how i feel emotionally, physically and spiritually. I realize this may seem very "structured" for me (and i kind of buck the whole structure thing) but i really think its what i need to create new, productive habits to get me out of my current whirlpool of whatever. Plus, moderation has never really been my style when it comes to change....all or nothing baby.
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