Dear Body

Why why why why why do you hate me? can't i just go to sleep? is that too much to ask? I promise you will like it too. But nooooooo....you seem to think its funny to inflict pain and anxiety on me when its time to rest. excuse me, oh leg of mine, but you can stop hurting now. really... anytime now is good for me.  excuse me, abdomen, but whatever weird fluttery painful thing you got going on in there...put a sock in it. Mama Jill is now going to rest. You will not defeat me, i am in charge. Just so you know.

Pizza Ordering 101

I am daily flabbergasted at the sheer numbers of people who do not know proper etiquette when ordering food over the phone. Luckily for all of you, i will now teach you these things so you can become an expert. No thank you is necessary, i assure you i do this purely for selfish reasons. ;)

1. Know What You Want

okay, so i understand that you may not know exactly what is on the menu. Or what the specials are. So, what i recommend is calling up, asking for the specials, ask what questions you need to ask and then say "Thanks, we're gonna decide what we want and call you back." Here's another tip: all the big chains have menus online. But please, for any reason, do not do the following:

Me: How can i help you?
Customer: What are your specials?
Me: (recites specials)
Customer: Alright can you hold on? (and then to people in the room) "HEY, WHAT YA'LL WANT?" (and yes, this is always yelled...right into my ear)
Me: crickets chirp
Customer: what did you say that first one was again?
Me: (repeats 1st special)
Customer: Wait...you said how much again?
Me: (repeats 1st special again)
Customer: okay hold on (and then, you guessed it, to the people in the room) "HEY, WHAT YA'LL WANT?"
Customer: (a bunch of laughing in the background, talking about anything besides pizza, etc etc) "HEY, WE GOTTA DECIDE...THIS LADY IS WAITING ON THE PHONE"
Customer: okay, so we can get XYZ?
Me: Absolutely, what do you want on your 1st pizza?
Customer: pepperoni and sausage.
Me: okay, what do you want on your second one?
Customer: wait, do you have chicken? let me get chicken and sausage on that first one.
Me: okay, chicken and sausage
Customer: wait...do you have beef? maybe i want hamburger and chicken on that 1st one....
Me: facepalm
Customer: (turns to the people in the room again) "HEY, WHAT YOU WANT ON YOUR PIZZA?"
Me: looking for the nearest pair of scissors to stab myself with


So i know this sounds extreme, but i promise you i get atleast two calls a day almost exactly like this. promise. Most of the time, however, its more like just the first couple of lines. So, lesson number 1 is....know what you want.

2. Know Where You Live

You would be amazed at how many people A) don't know their phone number, and B) don't know where they are. seriously.  you always get those who are from out of town who don't know what their nearest cross-street is or what part of town they are in, and i totally get that. But there are an astonishing amount of people who legit don't know their address. Rule # 1: if you are going to order something to be delivered to you, you are going to need to know your location. I don't care if you are visiting from out of town, just moved in, whatever....i do not have a remote sensor that picks up your call via GPS and transmits your coordinates to me. someone somewhere knows the address.  Some people literally expect me just to know where they are calling from. Please have this information at the ready before you make the call. pretty please. I'll never forget this call...still one of my favorites:

Me: How can i help you?
Customer: I need a delivery
Me: no problem, what's your address?
Customer: Winston-Salem
Me: (wait a moment to see if there is more coming with that statement.....nope)
Me: Okay....where in winston-salem?
Customer: um......

yeah. no further comments.

3. Understanding the Delivery Charge

everyone charges for delivery these days. everyone. so please, do not rant on and on about how you swear you called last week and we did not charge for delivery. hello....have you seen gas prices lately? or the cost of food? or the cost of insurance? All of these things contribute to our costs as a business. really people, come on....

4.  Tip Your Driver

This is very important. if you are going to order for delivery, you absolutely MUST tip. Sure, there are the excuses....don't have enough money, doesn't the driver get the delivery charge (no they don't), don't have enough money. Here's my thing....if you have enough money to order pizza and have it delivered to your house (which we all know isn't cheap. its a convenient luxury people, not your inherent right as a person on this earth) then you have enough money to break off a few dollars for the driver. if this is to much to ask, then maybe its best that you get your lazy self into the car and hit up the value menu. for reals. What is an appropriate tip? well that depends. If you are getting just one or two pizzas and even maybe a side or drink...you know, something for just the family....then $3 to $5 is good...with $3 being decent and $5 a happy driver. The driver will truly appreciate anything more than that of course. If you are ordering a big order...say over 5 pizzas...then you need to up it accordingly.  I hate to see the hard work that goes into an order that costs $200 only to see my driver come away with a 5. or nothing. Just remember...these guys and gals work for tips. not to mention they put miles and wear and tear on their cars to bring you dinner. So treat 'em right, and they'll treat you right as well (which they should do anyway, but you get my drift)

5. We Are Human

Last, but certainly not least, remember that we are only human. Yes, we get most, if not all, of our orders out flaw-free and on time every day.  But sometimes mistakes happen. Somebody accidentally put mushrooms on your pizza but you wanted black olives? No problem. Just call the store and we will send another one right out to you. probably with something extra...like a drink or dessert...too. If you are okay eating it, we will refund your money then. Whatever it is...we will work with you. Please do not call up to the store screaming at me because we made a mistake. i realize its an inconvenience, and that it shouldn't have happened. but yelling does no good for anyone. And we pump out 100's of pizzas an hour sometimes. so every once in a while something gets mixed up. Do not exclaim to me that mistakes are unacceptable and will not be tolerated  (this has happened to me, those exact words).  Do not assume that i am uneducated because i work in a pizza place (also an accusation i hear). I run a pizza place lady. its not easy work, trust me. nor is it for the faint of mind. and my people? everyone needs jobs. for many here, they are in school or this is their second job.  so please, leave out the insults.

Free to Choose

As i've gone about my activities today (which really only include church and the time i tried to take a nap...until my body literally snickered at me and said "as if" in the most clueless-esque way possible), i've thought about this word: CHOICE.  I think i have spent alot of time dwelling in the land of "no choice"...especially recently. For instance i work alot so i say to myself (and others), i have no choice about my lack of social life. Or i have panic attacks and a psychological issue with food so between the two i have no choice about my battle with my weight.  Because i have no choice about my weight, i also have no choice that men can't look past that weight so i have no choice that i'm not in a relationship. Do you see the spiral? And all of these thoughts led me to think of another word: CRAP. Its all a load of crap, these things i tell myself.  Of course i have choice. After all, isn't that how Heavenly Father designed it to be? That we have our agency to choose? Ultimately what i have realized this past week is this....i am the master of my own destruction.  If i choose "no choice" as my slogan, then it becomes true and i become trapped under my own negativity. Let me give you a "for instance" (a "for instance" is highly more exciting than an example, just so you know):  In all my burned-out glory with my job, i decided that instead of quitting or demoting myself ...which i did actually bring up to my boss, to which he replied "um..no" and basically laughed in my face (i suppose i should take that as a compliment)...i would take on being stress-free this week and see what it did to my daily experience.  Wanna know what i found? My problem isn't actually my job, it's me. All me.  I discovered this because as i focused on being stress-free, spending my personal time reading and writing and being filled-up by things i love, and getting enough sleep...i was happy. joking (i kinda do that anyway, but you get my point). lively. hyper even (on occasion). And all this good-attitudeness occured at work. whoa. Mr. Joe Customer getting mad over some pepperoni and yelling at me? I'm sorry you are having a bad day sir, mine is fantastic.  Wanna get my crew up-beat and laughing? No problem, just run around and give everybody high-fives like we just scored the winning shot of the game. Or do a 10-second rap session with my driver. Or throw snowballs from the ice on the makeline at people. No big deal. Joyfulness: achieved. Productivity: achieved. ah yes, i get to choose.  And choose i shall....

Good Things...

Tonight as i sat reading in my scriptures, some realizations came to me...ones that are interesting and sweet to my soul.  Things within me are beginning to change. finally. Its amazing the effect that small and simple thoughts and habits can have on a person, for the good or the bad.  And for the past while, i've been giving myself ALOT of negative self-talk. As i step out of the cloud of negativity and wrap myself in more positive thoughts and feelings of love, my gratitude grows as i feel my Heavenly Father's love for me. And that, my dear friends, brings me much joy.

I Choose...

"Listen.
Can you hear it?
The music.
I can hear it everywhere. 
 In the wind... 
 ... in the air... 
 ... in the light. 
 It's all around us.
All you have to do is open yourself up.
All you have to do...

  ... is listen."
This is from the opening scene from my all time favorite movie August Rush. Haven't seen it? well you should. It makes my soul sing. Today i was thinking about my relationship with joy and i thought of this quote. 
Granted, my conversation with myself on joy is not about music (although music brings soooo much joy to my soul). What it is about, however, is that my experiment with joy is working. Meaning, I am starting to see little bits of joy all around me as i focus my attention on it. I think i realized it today while at work. You see, for the last two days i have simply decided that i would be stress-free. No sir Mr. Stress, you may not visit me. But 
thanks for asking anyway. For the past month i have been very very burned out at work. or at life. sometimes i can't tell the difference anymore. Anyway, out of mere survival the other day at work, i decided to not let it
 bother me. Sure, i was having a friday night-style rush on a tuesday with one insider and 4 drivers. I had 10 
deliveries that were waiting to go out the door all atleast 30 minutes old. 3 lines on hold. pizzas flying out of 
the oven. And about 15 pizzas on my screen that needed to be made. And you know what i did? I just chose to be stress free. and not only stress free, but peaceful...happy even. My poor insider was flying around like a crazy person and i told him to just focus on the ovens and the phones, and that i would make all the food and route the drivers. And i said it calmly, while nonchalantly making pizzas. He kind of looked at me as if to say 
"umm...aren't you going to go all "jill" on us?" nope. not interested. And i remained that way for the rest of the night. To be clear, we get rushes like this all the time so it was really no big deal. The difference? my 
attitude...or rather, the CHOOSING of my attitude. I wanted to be sure that it wasn't some fluke or freak 
accident, so today i went in to work and chose to be in a good mood and stress free. At one point i had 3
 drivers all talking to me about 3 different issues all at the same time. I stopped them and said "excuse me, but i'm having a stress-free day. If you can, i would appreciate you trying to handle this one on your own (often
 they are small things anyway). If you need my help, i'll be over there." I realize this may seem like a small
 thing to you, but those that have worked with me know...this is a big moment for me. I often try to take on all things (in fact, my counselor once called me "Atlas" because i try to carry the world on my back) and then 
allow myself to get all worked up in a tizzy. I guess what i'm trying to say is this...i'm starting to feel more
 balanced. I'm starting to feel lighter. And i'm re-learning that i get to choose my way of being. And that i 
actually can. It takes a little work, i had to remind myself several times throughout the nights that i was 
choosing stress-free, but i did it. And it felt good.

Listening to My Body

It's an interesting thing that happens when you start trying to change habits.  First comes the rock bottomish place that makes you wake up and actually be ready to act on change. Then comes the initial excitement and gung-ho-ness as you jump right in to your plan of action.  Then, as i'm re-learning tonight, comes what i like to call the "inbetween."  The inbetween is the space where you are getting into your new habits and really starting to enjoy them, but then you have this craving for the old. You start having this internal conversation with yourself where your mind says "well really you could just watch one more show and then do some reading" or "You want chocolate? Go ahead and go get some...once won't really hurt. You can start over again tomorrow."  But i have to ask...how many tomorrow's are there really going to be? Am i going to wake up tomorrow guilt-free and joyful that i relented on my new tv rule for myself or that i gave in to sugar?  Or will i feel sullen for once again proving to myself that i'm weak and can't change...that i'm stuck being miserable and disappointed in myself forever.  Not to mention how sick i will feel because i ate sugar or bread (which has been happening to me EVERYTIME i eat it lately, btw...body trying to tell me something? My mom is worried i'm in the early stages of Celiac) In case you didn't know, this is THE moment. The moment where i get to decide where my loyalties lie...to my true self or the part of me that wants to hide and wallow in my own suffering and victim-ness.  And then i remember how the last few years have felt for me. For the past three years, i've spent most of my time slipping back into bad habits that i'd worked so hard to change and made them worse. I've gained atleast 60 pounds, reclaimed my addiction to food and caffeine, suffered from regular panic attacks that have been soul-crushing, struggled with my spirituality, developed bad bouts of insomnia and anxiety...really the list could go on.  The hardest part, though, is the disappointment in myself for all of it. Why? Because they are all things that i can control.  Well, except maybe the panic attack thing...i can't seem to control those. I can choose to put healthy things in my body so i not only physically feel better, but i feel better about myself.  i can choose to get back into a regular exercise routine (which i love to do and in turn reduces stress, which then reduces my panic attacks AND helps me sleep better. duh, jill).  I can choose to break-up (again) with caffeine, which also sometimes triggers panic attacks.  I can make it a top priority to spend meaningful time everyday in the scriptures and having daily sincere prayer.  I have indeed been working at doing these things and i am starting to feel a difference within myself.  Its a slow change...some of them are coming easier than others...but for the first time in a while i really do feel like i'm headed for the jill that i love being.  So, what about the "inbetween?"  Interestingly enough, when my mind started clammering for the old ways that lead to self-loathing, it turned out that as i seriously thought about giving in i realized i didn't actually have a desire to eat junk and watch tv. If i quiet down and listen to my body, what i really want to do is go lay in bed and read my new book until i fall asleep...despite the fact that its earlier than my normal bedtime.  Maybe if i spend more effort listening to my body instead of that self-sabotage gland in my brain (i don't care if you think it doesn't exist, you'll never prove it to me because i totally have it), it will be easier to get back to good habits that have me be a healthy, happy Jilbeez.

A Day in the Life...

Of a pizza manager...or more specifically me.  I got to about, oh...say around midnight or so..., when a friend asked if i had experienced a joyful moment today. And i realized to my dismay that not only had i NOT sought a moment of joy today, but had instead been too preoccupied with being annoyed at people ordering pizza. (sorry, sean, if you're reading this).  I don't know what it is about a pizza place, but some people seem to think they can haggle pizza prices as if we are a used car lot. Do other types of places experience this? I mean, when i go to Target or a restaurant or even McDonalds I expect to pay what the set price is.  No, not my customers.  Oh, you don't have very much money? Well, mr. customer, i'd love your business but to get delivery you should expect to pay over 10 dollars. And no, i will not except your beaver pelts in exchange for food.  Last time i checked, we moved out of the 19th century some time ago.  Maybe the value menu at Wendy's is more suited for you and your wallet.  Okay, so maybe this is a little extreme...but people really do try to negotiate with me. all the time. And its A. Noy. Ing.  Speaking of annoying, one of my biggest pet peeves is a customer that is chomping (and i do mean chomping as in loudly) on food while ordering on the phone with me.  This peeve doesn't surprise me because i really really hate loud eating.  I guess it comes from growing up listening to my brothers (yes, all three) smack their food when they chew.  Sorry guys, I love you but its true. (side note to my brothers: I really do love all of you and now you have one free pass to put me on blast for some annoying behavior of mine).  Despite what it seems, i wasn't in that bad of a mood tonight.  In fact one of my favorite conversations with a customer went a little something like this:

Me:  What would you like for your bread side: Cheesybread, Breadsticks or Cinnastix?
Customer: What's the difference between the Cheesybread and the Breadsticks?
Me: Cheese.
(right after i said this, i immediately thought "Crap, why did i let that sarcasm come out? Please take it the right way, please take it the right way" fingers crossed...)
Customer: (chuckles) wow, go me. I'm the smart one tonight huh?
Me: (highly relieved that they caught the humor in it) Trust me, its not the worst question i've had
Customer: Oh really? what was the stupidest question you got all night?
Me: A few orders ago i had a customer ask me to make sure we put that Papa John's garlic sauce in their pizza box
Customer: Wow
Me: Exactly

Anyway, that customer made my night a little better. I guess she gets the joy moment card for the day. I've joked with customers like that before only to have it go totally wrong. But in my opinion i have to keep it light on my end sometimes or i end up wanting to pull my hair out. Or worse, the hair of a customer. It works even better when someone is screaming at me while i am trying to make their order right. Usually i ask them to stop yelling and we can talk about this.  Sometimes, however, they are inconsolable. In those cases, and if i'm in a playful mood, i have been known to do something like this:
Me: I'm so sorry we screwed up. I'd be happy to send a new pizza right out or give you your money back...we want to make this right.
Customer: Well i want a new pizza AND my money. There is no way i'm paying for this. I wanted a pepperoni and beef and i got just a pepperoni. This is unacceptable.
Me: I totally agree that you should get the pizza you asked for. We made a mistake and i'm so sorry. I can remake your pizza and get it right out to you piping hot or refund your money. Do you like dessert? I'd love to also send you an order of our lava cakes on us as an apology.
Customer: I told you i want both.
Me: I'm sorry, but i can only do one or the other. Its company policy.
Customer: Well then i need to speak with your manager
Me: No problem, hold on just a sec
(Usually at this point i put them on hold for about 10 seconds while i stick some labels on boxes or take a time out to gather my composure)
Me: Hi, this is Jill. What seems to be the problem?
Customer: Wait...Wha? Wasn't I just talking to you?
Me: No ma'am, that was my twin sister Jo. She's my assistant. How can i help you?

Never a dull moment in my job...

Kids Say (and Doo) the Darndest things....

Some of my favorite conversations recently have been with my nephew and nieces. Here are a few examples:
Jamison and I were in the living room just hanging out and he randomly says:
Jamison: Cha
Me: Cha-Cha (i like to play along)
Jamison: Cha Cha Cha
Me: Cha
Jamison: Cha, Cha Cha-Cha Cha....Cha.
Me: I think we are speaking Cha-chese
Jamison: What do you mean?
Me: The Cha language
Jamison: Cha (giggles)
Me: How do you think we should say "hello?"
Jamison: Cha Cha Cha-Cha-Cha Cha Cha Cha
Me: Wow, that was pretty lengthy. How, then, would you say "there is a star balloon on the ceiling?"
Jamison: Cha.
~~~~~~~~~~
Paige and I were lounging on the couch when she reached over with her foot and "tickled" me.  I returned the favor by "getting" her bum with my foot
Me: Paigie, I have your bum
Paige: But I don't have a bum
Me: Well then what do you sit on?
Paige: The couch.

Oh those stinkin' kids. They make me laugh and bring me joy. Speaking of stinkers, check out this cutie-pie of a Zoë (check it out, i learned how to type the umlaut!)

Everytime I would hum something she would start bouncing to the music. Isn't she cute? Yeah i thought so too...this is mere moments before what i now refer to as The Great Poop Debacle. Let me tell you a story:

After Zoë finished eating, i took her upstairs to get her out of those jammies and what i thought was only a wet diaper (there was no smell....no smell, no poop...right?)  She was happy as a clam and i thought, apparently mistakenly so, that this would be a rather quick and painless process and we would be back downstairs in no time to join the others.  I laid her on the changing table, with her beaming as i took of her PJ's. Next came the diaper. I opened it up and....oh. my. gosh. Poop up her back, poop flowing out the sides , poop all over the inside of her footsie pajamas. And guess what?  Apparently with the removal of the clothes and diaper little Zo-bo here thought she was a free bird. As i was still trying to gather my senses in response to the volume of poop we had going on, she turned over and made a mad dash to try and crawl out of this whole situation. Yep, you guessed it. Poop was now aaaaalllll over her front and the changing table.  I quickly grabbed her leg (now poop all over me) as she began squeeling as if i was enacting some form of torture by trying to get her clean. After wrestling her a bit (mainly just trying to keep her from leaping off the table) i held her with one hand while i tried to find something to put the diaper in. She. was. screaming. I think if i had had the time, i probably would have too so i can't blame her there.  By the time Jason rushed in to see what was up, i was basically holding her little naked self in mid-air with one hand while i was trying to clean her with a wet wipe with the other hand.  Why did i not lay her down somewhere and pin her with one arm? Mainly because poop was EVERYWHERE that i would have laid her.....and i kept thinking "i can not get poop on my sister's carpet, i can not get poop on my sister's carpet". Jason said "oh my...why didn't you yell for help?" Well, because honestly the whole situation took me by surprise. Sure, its happened to me a couple of times, but not this bad. Not ever. Anyway, Jason finished cleaning her up while i started getting anything with poop on it in the hamper.  Funniest part? As soon as she had a fresh diaper and some clothes on, she was happy as can be as if  the whole thing never happened.  Oh, other funniest thing...A little while later we were playing outside and i went to brush a bug off my arm...only to discover a patch of dried crusty poop on it. All i could do was laugh.

Friendship and Tiny Tim

I actually got some sleep last night and felt pretty normal for the first four hours of my day....and then the fatigue dropped in. ugh. Well atleast it wasn't ALL day this time.  That's a plus! Wanna know what brought me joy today? Tonight i was having a conversation with a dear friend and at some point i stated that i let very few people really see my neurotic side for fear that they would change their mind about how much they love me.  She reminded me that those who really knew me loved me all the more for that side of me. Thank you Nikki ;).  True friendship equals true joy for me, and i am so grateful for the good friends i've had the pleasure of making.  Wanna know what made me laugh out loud (and it was much needed tonight)? One of my drivers randomly said "hey jill, do you remember Tiny Tim from A Christmas Carol?" When i replied that I did, he rounded the corner with this (see picture below) and said "I ran into him today, kicked his butt and stole his crutch."  So unexpected.  Now just to be clear, I don't in any way condone bully behavior, but i appreciated his effort to give me a chuckle. and chuckle i did.

Finding Joy part 2...with a little enlightenment on the side...

So since i last posted i've been trying to find little pieces of joy in my days.  Yesterday? spending time with my sister and her kids.  Somewhere along the way this past year i started spending time every week at Laura's house and i'm loving the friendship and love i feel when i'm there with her and her family.  Tonight i found joy in an unexpected place... i got a call from a customer who wanted to have pizza delivered to baptist hospital.  She was so very sweet and had such a happy tone that it immediately put me in a better mood.  She instructed me to have it delivered to the nurses station near her room.  We got to chatting a little and she explained that the nursing staff had been so wonderful to her during her stay that she wanted to thank them by ordering them some surprise pizzas before they went on break.  I've been doing this a long time, and i've never seen a patient order food for the nurses out of gratitude.  i was so touched by this that i threw in a free order of cinnastix as a dessert for them.  Just being a bystander to someone else's attitude of gratitude during a trying time (it was in the rehabilitation wing of the hospital) brought joy to my soul.  I was also thinking today about how unbalanced i feel in my life.  For the past three weeks i have been feeling like i've been stuck inside a time vortex that has me certain i've sold my soul to the pizza devil.  I need to make changes, which i've been saying for a long time but haven't yet acted upon (well i have in very small ways, but not any that are making huge differences).  I hate that i've become someone who is all talk and no action.  I realized that i can't (and don't necessarily want to) change my job right this moment because the reality is i would just end up in some other job that i lose myself in until i become unbalanced. Its kind of a habit i have.  But, what i CAN change is both my attitude at work and how i spend my time away from work.  So i've decided to start a little 30 day experiment.  I need more enlightment, joy, fullfillment and spirituality in my life.  I want to feel balanced.  How do i spend my time at home usually? Parked on my couch watching tv while spending hours in front of my laptop.  Granted i tend to do this in the wee hours of the morning when i have nothing else to do, but still i could be reading, writing, playing music, etc....I'm willing to bet that if i add a little creative discipline in the form of time management to my every day, i would find a ton more time that i can spend filling myself up with good and happy things. How will i do this? For the next 30 days, i WILL (please someone, hold me to this):
1. Limit TV to one hour per day OR one movie, but not both
2. spend 30 minutes minimum in the scriptures
3. spend 30 minutes minimum walking OUTSIDE. I live in a beautiful section of town with tons of sidewalks, so no excuses.
4.  Make a solid and sincere effort to get 7 hours of sleep. 8 has always been too much for me, but 7 to 7.5 is almost perfect. I must do what it takes to get proper rest, because most of my panic attacks happen due to lack of rest.
5. During any other free time, instead of TV or computer i will spend time reading books i've been meaning to get to, writing, practicing my guitar, finding ways to serve others, or visiting friends and family.

My plan is to see how doing this for 30 days impacts my attitude about my life and how i feel emotionally, physically and spiritually. I realize this may seem very "structured" for me (and i kind of buck the whole structure thing) but i really think its what i need to create new, productive habits to get me out of my current whirlpool of whatever. Plus, moderation has never really been my style when it comes to change....all or nothing baby.

Finding Joy

Today turned out to be a little bit of a tear-jerker. But in a good way, if that makes sense.  Today was supposed to be a day off for me but, and really no surprise here, i had to work.  My store has been experiencing the black plague of car troubles over the last month , so i was 2 drivers down and ended up going in to drive for 10 hours. I wasn't thrilled about the situation...mainly because it was mother's day and i wanted to see my mom, and also because i haven't had a day off in almost 3 weeks and i'm tired and still trying to fight off being sick. Sooooo, to make myself in a better mood and enjoy my driving shift (which i actually love when i get to do by the way), i listened to instrumental music, a wonderful talk on CD by Richard G. Moore called "Magnifying Your Spirituality", and was extra sweet to all of my customers when i delivered to them.  At one point i was on my way back to the store when i noticed a girl (somewhere in her 20's i'd say) walking down the street.  She was still a little ahead of me as i waited at a 4 way stop.  i saw her playfully jump up onto the curb as she crossed over it...almost as if she was floating. Then, as she walked past a row of bushes and trees, she stuck her hand out and lightly brushed them as she walked past.  Watching those small and seemingly meaningless actions radiated pure joy to me.  I was witnessing someone being happy and enjoying the world around her. And i just started to cry.  Not because i was sad, but because watching someone have a small bit of joy in the moment was so beautiful.  She had no idea who was watching, but i learned something from her today.  I want more joy in my everyday life.  How many beautiful things do i miss out on because i'm just too busy to stop and notice it?  Wanna know one of my goals this week? to find something every single day...no matter how small....that brings me joy. And when i find that thing i will stop and allow myself to experience the beauty of it. Wanna join me?