Midnight Meditations

Do you ever have those nights where you lie awake all night trying to figure out what the heck is going on with your life? Maybe its because you work so hard and suddenly feel you have nothing to show for it, or you realize you haven't followed your dream, or you realize you can't pay your bills this month....whatever your reason, i think you can agree with me that it isn't the most pleasant experience.  One of my religion professors this semester talked about how one day when we're about 50 we'll lie awake at night and take measure of our lives.  All i could think was "are you kidding me? I do that now!"  Sometimes i feel like a complete failure, almost as if its my destiny to continuously fail at life.  I suppose i will never stop reaching for success, whatever that looks like.  Maybe one day i'll wake up and see that all the failures were indeed successes in some twisted way.  I can tell you one thing, that day is not today.  Its in these moments where we feel completely broken that makes me realize why its necessary....its what keeps us humble, or more specifically me.  These moments allow the Lord to teach me that my life is not measured by what car i have or if i can pay the phone bill this month or what grade i got in my writing class.  Its in knowing that no matter what, life is always doable if I rely on Him. "Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?....for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Mathew 6: 31-33). I take comfort in this scripture because I know that whatever i'm worried about won't kill me, but even if it does I know i'll be okay.