You gotta watch out for these...

So today i was looking around online for people who need roommates, and i came upon this ad on craigslist. I seriously laughed for about ten minutes while Sara looked at me like i was nuts (pun intended). My guess is that they had some people come by to look at the room but then ran when they heard this part, so they just decided to say it right up front. Enjoy:


Hey! Glad you took a look! I am living with my dad here in murry, and we are looking for a third to come live with us in our openminded family. The room is a nice, two window, spacious closet, with wood flooring. Our house is a three bedroom home with a decent size kitchen, family room, a dining room (which my dad uses as an office) and a open fromt room. We also have a hot tub that we use freaquently, and you would be more then welcome to join us. The 200 is a flat rate that includes utilies, internet, and we do have a big screen tv with cable.

Sense we are offering a very cheap room we are looking for someone that would fit nicely into our situation. We are both slight nudists, where we will both walk around naked, and use the hot tub in the nude. I only stress this because we need someone who would not mind this, and would feel comfortable in joining us. THERE IS NO SEXUAL ANYTHING BY DOING THAT!!!!!!! lol my dad and i are both sexual beings and we are open in our sexuality. We both bring home people and do not mind if you do. We are both very opinionated, yet extreamly openminded people. That being said we are looking for someone that is open minded (out of the mormon bubble perferably), non judgemental, and would be comfortable in our living situation. We are also looking for someone who we can trust, leave the house to and such.

I would be more then willing to show you the house and get to know you a little bit to see if you are the one we are looking for! Please email me and we will get in touch! Please put Hot Tub in title so i know that you are real! :D Come join us in the hot tub, it feels dang good!!

Meditation Moment

I've been thinking about two statements i heard/read today. The first one i heard on the radio on my way to school this morning. It was advice given to a woman by another caller but it really hit home to me....."Don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle." The other one i stumbled upon while filling out job applications..."The best time to push on is when you reach the place where the average person gives up." We hear quotes like this all the time, but these have really taken up residence in my thoughts today. How often have i pushed myself to what i thought was my limit, and then given up? What could have happened if i had hung in there for that 5 more minutes? A miracle? maybe. I'm clear that I don't want to quit, I don't want to give up and think it is enough. Because i have a sneaking suspicion that the extra 5 minutes is well worth it. Besides, i've never had the desire to be average anyway. I don't want a life of complacency, blind to opportunity and adventure and joy. I don't want to float through life just doing enough to get by. I want to learn, grow and explore my limits. I want to push myself to that point where i really want to give up, and then push a little more. I want a life of spiritual enlightenment and soulful fullfillment. Possible? just maybe.

This is the Place

I really want to write about my fun trip out west with my sister, all the classes that i'm taking, etc....but the truth is, none of that seems to flow from my fingertips right now. What keeps spinning in my mind is something my fundamentals of entrepeneurship professor said today. I've really been dealing with alot of stress these past few weeks, and especially the past few days. There is so much uncertainty in my world and i'll be the first to say that i don't really care for it. However, as i have started class this week in an environment where the Spirit is sought after first and education second (I really really love LDS business college and their learning model, more on that later) i've been able to get a dose of perspective. When asked by a student his personal thoughts on the "fail your way to success" phenomenon often talked about by successful entrepeneurs, my professor said this, something i feel was inspired..."Failure is an excellent teacher because it hurts SO much. Success teaches you nothing." He followed up by saying that of course we don't seek after failure, but that instead of allowing ourselves to be discouraged we should do what the prophet Joseph did when seeking out the true gospel..."Observe, Analyze and Act." As he continued talking, he began to tell the story about the widow and her cruse of oil found in 1 Kings 17. Here was a woman who had tremendous faith, and no doubt prayed for months and possibly years during the famine for reprieve. Yet she was taken to the very edge, until she knew she had one meal left before death, and only then did the blessing come by way of a prophet asking for what remaining food she had. She gave, and was richly, even miraculously blessed in a way she couldn't have possibly forseen. As he spoke about this, i knew that that message was for me. While i feel like i am emotionally on the edge, i know that in reality i'm not even close. I could bear more (not that i'm asking for that). What i am going through is necessary for my growth so that i might do everything i possibly can to make things work. Only then will i receive the blessings i seek. It has been in this moment (and several others) that i knew that this is truly the place....the place the Lord would have me be for this period of time. I have already seen great blessings in the process....my sister coming with me on the long drive out west, a wonderful cousin out here that is giving me a roof over my head while i find a place (thank you sara and shawn, you have no idea how much that means to me...i promise to make it up to you one day), and being enrolled in a school that bases their education on scripture and inspiration...a place where we talk openly about the gospel every day and invite the spirit into each class. Truly amazing.

Westward Ho!

Nausea. That seems to be my constant companion these days. Why you ask? Because it seems that my excitement for moving out west has taken a cold, hard turn towards the awareness that this is really happening. Tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, i'm still REALLY excited. Thing is, there is so much uncertainty and i have no idea how everything is going to work out. Sure, people move out west all the time. So what makes this different? oh, maybe the fact that i have no place to live and no job and bills requiring resources that i just don't have. I have a hard time even wrapping my mind around it. It seems so careless, so irresponsible. Except for one thing....the Lord told me to go. No doubt about it, Salt Lake is where i'm supposed to be. But it doesn't make it easy, and i know that that is the point. Amidst my doubts and fears, there is also hope and faith. They are opposites and yet existing together in my mind and heart. Its not exactly what i would call a good feeling having that war going on inside of me. I guess its the feeling of sensing that something really big, something life-altering is about to happen for me and i have no idea what it looks like. I realize that it may not be anything big that anyone else notices, but it will be big for me. There is still that little girl inside of me that was afraid to leave home for sleepovers because i only felt safe overnight with my parents. Sure i've moved to Boone, DC and Maryland...but this seems different. I do, however, know that the Lord has great things in store for me and i am ready to go find out what exactly that is. Even i have to be homeless for a little while. So, for the first time ever i bid the east coast adieu in search of new adventures. Don't worry, i'll be back...to visit at least. Westward ho!

Guinea Pigs, Pancakes, And Why I Hate Nike

This is a story i came across in a book my grandmother gave me for my birthday (thanks grandma, i love it!). I thought it was such a true reflection of how women are constantly bombarded by the media and made to think we just aren't good enough unless we are this, that and the other. I hope you enjoy it as much as i did. It's written by a woman named Ame Stargensky from California:

“What do you call a spelling bee, tennis practice, a soccer fund-raiser, one dentist appointment, two sick guinea pigs, a three o’clock board meeting, and a full-time job? In my house that’s referred to as Tuesday.
Being a single mom requires stamina, patience, and the power to reshape time itself.But, alas, it’s no longer enough to be Super Mom. Every magazine cover now insists that we have firm abs, too..like a sort of Supermodel Super Mom. On the upside, I still have the body I had at 20. On the downside, it wasn’t so swell then either. In spite of my success as a mother, sister, daughter, friend, producer, writer, and school volunteer, there are three words that really bug me: “Just Do It.”
I’ll never forget the first time I saw that clearly over-caffeinated Nike commercial. It caught me off guard. I was in the middle of weeping on my sofa, having just survived a slumber party with nine little girls. They had managed to stop giggling by 2:00 a.m., and yet clamored for pancakes by six. Covered in flour, with inky circles under my eyes, I resembled something that had fallen off the back of a bakery truck.
And then there it was on the television screen: a parade of women, certainly my age, gritty determination plastered all over their perfect bodies. As they ran…over rocks, up mountains, across rivers…the sweatier and more alluring they became. Here was the kind of woman who might, in fact, be a mother, but who wouldn’t know a carpool unless she could swim a hundred laps across it.
Then came the Nike logo and that booming voiceover: “Just Do It!”
I finished my doughnut, turned off the TV, and thought to myself, Doing It is one thing, but must I Do It uphill, too?
Why did I continue to care about this slogan so much? Because, frankly, I have no time to Do It, and the older I get, the less I want to anyway. Besides, it was always my understanding that Demi Moore looks the way she does so I don’t have to. Sure, I have friends who rise with the sun to swim and run and cycle their way into tight jeans and jiggle-free miniskirts. I’ve tried, but I will never be one of them. I can’t seem to carve out the time or my glutes. I have no hand-eye coordination, limited agility, and most important, a huge genetic disadvantage: Jews don’t make the best athletes.
First of all, “Air Abramowitz” would never work on a sneaker. Secondly, we’re not movers- athletically speaking. We tend to excel at wandering. In fact, if wandering were an Olympic event, you might see more Jews in sports. But you don’t. Sure, we made a mad dash out of Egypt for the Promised Land, but the truth is, we were hoping the promise included a food court.
Frankly, I’d like to be less soccer mom and more hot soccer mamma, so I joined a gym. I’ve never actually gone, mind you, but I still love telling people that I belong to one. It gives the illusion of Just Doing It with less risk of injury. I wish I felt guilty about not carving out my own hard body, but I don’t have the time. Instead, I am thrilled by my full life if not my fuller dimensions. Yes, my abs are more washing machine than washboard, and I’ve got cleavage that’s large enough to be French braided, but I’ve finally decided that my magazine cover will just have to say, “Delicious!” If I’m going to take a big bite out of my life, then it’s sure as hell going to include dessert. I guess that makes me more of a Super-Soft Super Mom. I don’t look so good in the cape, but my daughter tells me I make a great pillow.
The more I think about Just Doing It, the more I realize I’m doing it all every day. So what do you call back-to-back meetings, Brownies, company for dinner, trumpet practice, guitar lessons, fall soccer, a new bunny rabbit, laundry mountain, two book reports, and a Margarita Night out with the girls? At my house we call that Just Doing Fine.”

Seriously?

So, lets just suffice it to say i've got alot going on in my world. Trust me, i'll write about that, but right now i just need to vent. I'm really really sick of people stealing things from me. seriously. What, may you ask, is it this time? I had a cup full of change in my car...my just-in-case stash. It was out of site unless you were in the car, and i had been meaning to bring it in. It had about $40 dollars of change, maybe $50. I'm pretty routine about locking my car no matter where i am because i'm paranoid about this kind of thing...but tonight, well...lets just say the one time i forget (mind you in front of my house) something gets taken. Straight up theived. I had come home and it was there, went inside for about an hour, came back out to go pick up my brother and poof it was gone. Its not really so much about the money (although it should be because i'm broke) but i just have a lot of emotional charge on things being stolen from me. It literally makes me tired. I will say it was very cute how Jacob vowed to find out who took it. He even walked around the neighborhood (at midnight) looking for the kids he thinks may have done it. As i'm calming down and processing, i realize i can choose how i want to view this. I can be mad at the unfairness and say "can't i just catch a break?" (which i did say for like the first 10 minutes, its true). Or i can think that maybe whoever took it needed it more than i did. But what i really think is this.....lately i have been receiving A LOT of spiritual growth and understanding. I have also received many great and wonderful blessings that i'm sure i'm unworthy of. So maybe...just maybe...this is that great deceiver himself, trying to tear me down and cause me to be miserable where i have been experiencing much joy (and stress, but lots of joy). And maybe...just maybe...Heavenly Father allowed it to happen to see how i would react. Would i murmur like Laman and Lemuel and even Lehi when things didn't go my way? Or would i see it for what it is, let it roll off my back, and be grateful that something worse was kept at bay (such as having my car stolen. to be honest, i'm not 100 % sure i would make it through that one again... but come what may). While i feel like i'm choosing to see the bigger picture, i must admit shame that my reaction time was slower than what i would have liked. But i am progressing, though i am a spiritual infant and have much to learn, and am grateful for the experiences that test my faith. Even though it is not by any means fun, i know that it is totally worth it in the grand scheme of things. How grateful i am for a Heavenly Father who is wise beyond measure, who sees things i don't and places exactly what i need in my path so that i may one day become who He knows i can be. Goodnight.

So this is what REALLY goes on in the MTC huh?

okay, this is pretty freakin hilarious. I stumbled across it on youtube. Apparently he spent several P-days putting this together....i'm not really sure this is how p-days are supposed to be spent. enjoy a laugh...

Spiritual Thoughts

Today i was skimming through my Book of Mormon and settled upon a favorite scripture of mine and thought i would share some of my feelings about this special verse:

"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." (2 Nephi 31:20)

This scripture means so much to me. Years ago in a dark time for me, this scripture gave me hope. It gave me desire. Those years ago, while i was searching my soul and asking the Lord for guidance and strength, I came upon this verse of scripture. The whole 31st chapter seemed to leap right off of the page. It seemed at that time that verse 20 was written just for me. Since that time, this scripture has continued to be a source of strength as it reminds me what i must do to gain my goal: eternal life. I know i must press forward even in the toughest of times, for i will be blessed eternally. I must love others as myself and love the Lord above all else. I will feast on the words of Christ, by studying and pondering the scriptures, listening to and obeying the prophet, and listening to and recognizing the Holy Ghost as he speaks to me. If i do these things and endure to the end by living as God wants me to live, I am promised eternal life. What a wonderful promise!!! That promise gives me that brightness of hope. I will daily strive to better myself to become more like Him. I know, by everything within me, that if i do these things i will live in His presence again.

Passion

Here is some food for thought for all the passionate people that i know and love...

"what is passion? It is surely the becoming of a person....In passion, the body and the spirit seek expression...The more extreme and the more expressed that passion is, the more unbearable does life seem without it. It reminds us that if passion dies or is denied, we are partly dead and that soon, come what may, we will be wholly so."

~John Boorman, Film Director

Meditation Moment

We humans are such strange and interesting creatures aren't we? I am often baffled by the emotional rollercoaster that characterizes our lives, or more specifically mine. We crave love, fulfillment, joy and success and yet as we begin down our path towards greatness we purposefully (albeit subconsciously) sabotage our own efforts only to look back and wonder what the heck happened. Is it any wonder that we are constantly thwarted by our ever-present, ever powerful arch enemy....ourselves? To be honest its quite exhausting. We should all declare a vacation, go to a tropical island, dwell amongst the island-folk and live out our days surrounded by beautiful vegetation and sunsets all the while wondering why we ever allowed ourselves to experience so much unnecessary pain and exasperation in the first place. Okay, its not that easy. But one can dream right? I will admit one thing...I have a seemingly incurable addiction to suffering. Don't look at me like that, chances are you have it too (in all its various stages). I'm not talking about pain and suffering we get to thank our lucky stars for as a result of the actions and stupidity of others. I'm talking about the pain we inflict on ourselves because we (A) have no idea that we are doing it... (2) are aware but don't know how to get out of the cycle...or (12) in some sick and twisted way find some degree of pleasure in it because it allows us to be a victim. No matter what your reason, it all boils down to one thing: We don't think we are truly worth the aforementioned love, fulfillment, joy and success. Guilty as charged. I've written this all before, but it applies to my life now more than ever. geez.