So What?

I am often amused at the extraordinary-ness and complexity of the human mind  It's ability to do things against your will even in the awareness of what is going on is amazing. Let me give you a "for instance".  The other night I was delivering a few pizzas...and by few i mean nobody wanted any that night. I was scheduled out at a specific time, but the owner came by to visit and we all got caught up in chit-chatting. We hadn't had a single order in almost an hour and as I went to get my stuff together so I could go home the phone started to ring. Apparently everyone had suddenly awakened at 10pm and wanted pizza. I ended up having to stay 2 hours past when I was scheduled out. Ordinarily this would have been no big deal...it was thanksgiving eve and I had no plans...and I needed the money considering our slowness earlier. Lately, however, quick changes in plans..no matter how small..throw me into a tizzy. I went full-blown freak out inside of myself.  I got irritable, slightly explosive and my moods started swinging like a third grader at recess. I realized the ridiculousity of this, almost like i was sitting in my own passenger seat watching the flipping out, but yet i couldn't make it stop. I called my mom on my way back from a delivery just to process the frustration of it all. After about 45 minutes, the swings passed and I was exhausted from containing it inside rather than let it out on innocent bystanders. And all I could really do was laugh. Hey, it was either that or cry. I laughed because it makes no sense why I get like that. I laughed because even while i know this, I can't see it coming or stop it once it arrives. I laughed because people that see these episodes in me must think I'm a complete loon. Maybe I am...so what.