Forgiveness

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about how i view myself and its effect on how i show up to others. Or how it affects really every aspect of my life. I realize that i've been giving myself so much negative self-talk for a while now that its really no wonder i've been struggling with almost a crippling disappointment in myself. I know i can't change how i've done things, and most of it i wouldn't even if i could. But sometimes i hold myself to such high expectations that i set myself up for failure. I've made some mistakes, some outright bad decisions, and not followed through on things i really wanted to do for myself. But i've also had successes, celebrations, and some fun along the way. The reality is, i do have all of this stuff i want to do, changes i need to make...but i just feel kind of stuck. I've been stuck for some time now and i don't even know what's keeping me from moving forwards towards my personal goals for my life. Tonight i was sitting and thinking about my disappointments in myself, and i thought of a word, a key to what could possibly unstick me....forgiveness. Often times we think of forgiveness as something we give to someone outside of ourselves. But just as important as that is the ability to forgive ourselves. Sure, i'd like to be further ahead in my life goals and ambitions than where i currently dwell. But i realize that i beat myself up so much for falling short that i actually hinder myself from being able to get there. Its like i've created a fear of success within my soul. And i need to forgive myself for those mistakes, bad decisions, and goals i haven't yet hit. I need to forgive myself for beating me up constantly. Because if i can forgive myself for my sometimes impossible standards, i just might create the freedom and space to move forward.