Friday, January 28, 2011

"One-eyed Jilly" (not to be confused with one-eyed willy from Goonies)

Yes, that's me with an eye patch. Sooo....what we have here is one of those eye infections i get due to allergies.  Those of you who have known me long enough have probably seen me struggle with these.  I decided to wear an eye patch at work so it would stay closed and thus be able to heal...and to keep it free from cornmeal or other random debris.  It also allowed me to keep my fingers out of it and from being otherwise "eye obsessed" (that was for you stacey).  I have to say, i definitely take for granted the ability to see out of both eyes.  Here are a few lessons i learned while being half blind:

1.  No depth perception.  Here is a list of things i ran into today (much to the amusement of my employees, who for some strange reason kept cracking pirate jokes)...the oven, any and all door frames, the coke cooler,   stacks of dough trays, various employees (thanks for being understanding guys).  I also really struggled with taking orders on the touch screen, as it was usually either closer or farther away than i thought. I went to grab for a pizza screen and instead of quickly getting it like normal, my whole hand went through the rack and knocked half of them off. whoops.

2.  Peripheral Vision is highly important.  Since I could not see on my left side, anything to my left was unsafe. I would usually forget about that until it was too late. For instance, i would turn to the left by the oven and scrape the crap out of my arm on some screws.  Or i would turn to the left and knee an unsuspecting driver in the head who was trying to get something on the bottom rack (still sorry about that, Jon).

3. When you take off an eye patch and open an eye that hasn't been in use for a few feel kinda wonky.  It was amazing to notice the reaction of the eye i had been using solely when i finally opened the covered eye.  I think hallucinations almost happened.

4.  Your body will compensate.  Towards the end of the night, i noticed the muscles in the right side of my body were sore, tense and tired and crampy.  I had been using my right eye only.  I noticed that once i took the patch off for good, it eventually subsided.  I guess my right side was compensating for the feeling of imbalance on the left. interesting.

Anyway, while this is probably only interesting to me, i just thought i'd share my lessons learned. Oh, and i also learned that you take on quite a few more nicknames than normal....

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Ramblings from the mind of Jill

I just wanna know….how do you get over burn out? I know other people experience it too…whether it be in their jobs or in their home lives. Don’t get me wrong, I like my job. I won’t lie to you and say its easy, because its not….not when my goals are to take the store higher and make it better. But lately I just feel like all of the wind has been let out of my sails. I guess I mostly feel that the problem really lies within me. That maybe if I can find balance and peace within myself then I will have more to give to my job and in service to others. I know I need to spend more time in scripture study and in prayer. The relationship I have with my Heavenly Father and my Savior are important to me. Unfortunately, I haven’t spent as much time there lately and I’m definitely feeling the totality of that. There are also a few words and key areas that bring balance and fulfillment to my life. My essential self is characterized by three words…three words that are the summation of what makes me me. Trusting, Passionate, Self-expressed. A life coach once told me that as long as I was being true to these three things, and found evidence of them in my life, that I would be grounded. So I have to ask myself…am I being trusting? Am I being passionate? Am I being self-expressed? I know I am in some ways, but am I truly being true to me? There are also four ways that I relieve stress and get “filled up”. One is through physical activity. Yeah…not really doing that one right now, which is a huge problem and opens up a whole other can of worms into what’s out of whack in my life right now. One is through music. I am playing more music lately which is helping…teaching myself songs on the guitar or writing them completely from scratch. But I’ve been suspecting lately that what I really want, what I really need is for my hands to be on a piano more regularly. Those of you who have known me for a while know that this is an important part of who I am. I spent so many years practicing and playing the piano that without it I feel like something is missing. And for the past several years I haven’t been playing hardly at all. The third area is through spending time in the outdoors. I LOVE being outside…in the mountains, at the beach, in a park…it really makes no difference. If there is water around, then its that much better. Being outside reminds me that a loving God created this beautiful world. Kind of hard to do in the winter but you get my drift. And last, but certainly not least, is the fourth grounding factor. Quality time with family and friends. Since “quality time” is my primary love language, this one is very important to me. And is really the only one that is getting adequate play time right now. On days off I often go to my sister’s house and hang out all day. Just being in their space makes me feel so much joy. I need to see my parents more (sorry mom), so that is an area I need to focus on, because I love my parents and enjoy their company. And I also spend a lot of time with some good friends and my brother. So things, for the first time in a while, are doing okay in that area. I guess what comes next is action. Since I know what needs to be done, all that’s left to do is to do it, right? Too bad that’s the hard part. I can be self-aware all day long, but action? Yeesh.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

House of Bricks

I wrote this several years ago and some of you may have read it because i posted it a while back. But i've been thinking about the Atonement lately and how grateful i am that i have a Savior that can pick up my pieces....

  House of Bricks

A house of bricks with four strong walls

to outside elements won't fall

It takes a special kind of wind

to dispense doom and bring its end.

With inside pieces flying 'round

Those sturdy walls come crashing down

And in one final deafning sound

All is still upon that ground.

But mostly one would always find

atleast small parts of house that rise

From heaps of rubble upward bound

to be rebuilt once they are found.

A skillful carpenter can fix

this humble house of crumbled bricks

And with his healing hands he works

to build it stronger than at first.

And in no time it seems it stands

a masterpiece of careful hands

A witness to the neighbors there

The power of His redeeming care.