Just some thoughts

You know what i've learned lately? Life is hard. period. Although i feel singled out by this phenomenon a majority of the time, somewhere deep inside my head i know that everyone feels this way about their life too. Okay maybe not that deep inside of my head. Regardless, one of the great things about "the hard life" is that its sprinkled with hundreds upon thousands of really great genuine warm fuzzy moments. Which is how i guess we all keep trudging on despite our load. That being said, i'd like to publicly announce that (A) I am sad and slightly annoyed that i'm not able to go home for christmas, and (B) that i am going to start a book-writing adventure. I don't think i'm a good enough writer honestly to push out an entire book, nor do i know exactly what it would be about or look like. But i'm just gonna start writing and see what happens. I've always felt that i would write something one day that would help someone else....and besides, all of those weird and exciting-yet-sometimes-life-threatening experiences that i seem to attract should be good for something right?
Not to totally bore everyone, but something else that's really been on my mind lately is people. Maybe its the holidays talking, but i've really been missing people lately. Everyone that i've loved and lost throughout my life, which turns out to be quite the number actually. I'm aware of the whole "people come and go" adage but that doesn't mean i have to be a fan of it. As i look back all the way to childhood it seems that no matter how much i try to love people they flee from me as if i had a plague. Slightly an exaggeration but you get my drift. It makes for a lonely jilly. Don't get me wrong, I have some incredible friends and family that i just love and adore and for some reason love me back. I just miss people from my past sometimes, thats all. I guess its true what they say....its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all....right? If i'm a true follower of Christ then this must be true.....happy holidays!

Short Update

i would do a longer one, but honestly i'm just too tired. Getting 4 hours of sleep or less a night is starting to wear me down, so needless to say i'm VERY excited that this is my last week of school. I can't even begin to tell you what the prospect of a normal amount of sleep means to me. All of you moms that wake up many times in the night understand i'm sure. AND i don't even have kids to then entertain/take care of all day so i can't really complain. I basically just stopped by to say that I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I was given several tender mercies this week that meant alot to me....very swift answers to prayer. I'm sure He saw my discouragement and decided to give me a pick-me-up to remind me that He's aware of me and that i am indeed where i'm supposed to be, even though some days it just seems too hard. It was a great way to experience thanksgiving week :)