Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What a Time It's Been....

I do most of my reflecting in the middle of the night.  Sure, i should probably be doing something more productive such as sleeping, but the truth is its really the only time of my day where i can just be in my own quiet space without interruption.  So next time any of you find yourselves perplexed as to why i stay up until 5 in the morning even though i get home by 2....its because its "jill time".  Anyway, tonight i was performing my nightly ritual of sitting under my warm covers while playing on my laptop and i realized that exactly one year ago i was in the midst of driving cross country with my sister...(great time, by the way).  So much happens in one year, and things don't always go as planned.  Even just the range of emotions one experiences in a year's time is amazing.  This year i experienced excitement, fear, homelessness (just for a week mind you), joy, sleep deprivation, adventure, love, heartbreak and profound understanding just to name a few.  Its been a year of significant growth  and incredible hard work for me.  Some of it has been gut wrenchingly hard, and some of it has been fantastically fun.  Through it all i've realized the deep gratitude i have for a Heavenly Father who knows more than i do.  I had no idea a year ago that i would be back in NC right now.  I had no idea that the hard work and long hours i pulled this past year between work and school would help me in my job now.  I had no idea how much i would learn at LDS Business College and what it would mean for my understanding of business and how to be successful.  And the spiritual/emotional journey has been priceless.  Some days i'm wiped out and all i truly wish for is to be independently wealthy so i can go explore the globe, but despite my desires to become escape to new adventures, i know deep down that everything works together for my good....especially when its hard.  I need the hard moments because its the only way i can truly appreciate the easy ones.  I need them because its the only way i can push and stretch myself to be able to get where only the Lord can see me being.  In the span of my life, whats a few months of sleep deprivation while riding a topsy turvy learning curve?  Eventually the dust settles, i brush my self off and buckle up for the next ride-of-a-lifetime.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010